


Two Winged Angel and a Bell-igerent Honk

by derogatory



Category: Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28130964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derogatory/pseuds/derogatory
Summary: Your reign of terror upon this town seems nearly complete, but a final, solitary item on the To Do List perplexes you. This entry simply reads: "Free Her."
Comments: 20
Kudos: 43
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Two Winged Angel and a Bell-igerent Honk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiranerys42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiranerys42/gifts).



Your reign of terror upon this town seems nearly complete, but a final, solitary item on the To Do List perplexes you. This entry simply reads: " _Free Her_."

But who is her? There are a fair amount of human females in this town, some more vexing than the others. But who amongst them is most likely to have put themselves in some sort of danger, you wonder, as you begin a leisurely swim through the pond. Certainly in this charming little hamlet of yours, there are a variety of places where humans can become hilariously trapped - phone booths, garages, the one time you wrenched the garden shed open with your incredible strength and dropped a rake at the precise moment to block the door, trapping the gardener inside… Incredible, 10/10. 

But not once have there been instructions to "free" any of these humans. After all, why should you? Amongst them you are a wrathful God, a villian whose tyranny is expressed primarily in honks and flaps. In what possible universe would such meager creatures be deserving of freedom by your hands? Well, if we are being completely honest, there was that one time with the shed when you needed him to change the radio station so inevitably you did release him; but that was only to fulfil your purpose, nothing more! You didn't at all become concerned by his cries for help gradually becoming more and more hopeless, the realization that no one but you could hear him and the desperation that seemingly crippled him. No, those sorts of things don't affect you at all. After all, you are a terrible goose and these are simply your unworthy subjects.

So who could "her" refer to?

The morning should be spent in quiet observation, you decide, reaching the shore and segueing into a pleasant stroll through the gardens. There is no pressing need to once again dismantle the fabric of this sleepy village's society at the moment; you have a task at hand. Her… Of course you would never deign to assume that a female gender designation would imply some kind of helplessness. No, you are an equal opportunity goose. But a damsel in distress can't be ignored, because you are also a benevolent leader of your town.

Then again… why would you free one of the measly humans? What have they done to earn your mercy? No, if this creature is deserving of freedom they must be of equal standing to yourself. Another animal, one with the same inherent superiority that you possess; no longer will you be alone, but accompanied in infinite power.

You reach the back gardens and realize 'her' identity in the instant. Another divine being, deserving of freedom, worthy to stay by your side. There in the back gardens she stands; motionless, red bow upon her neck, beautiful eyes unseeing, gazing hopelessly into an eternity of imprisonment. Yes, "her" must refer to this captured beauty, this gracious creature shackled by the unworthy humans. 

Yes, she must be freed. The ritual must be performed immediately.

You cannot waste another moment. The necessary items must be gathered for the ritual. The to do list contains no such details, but you are a goose of incredible intellect and mind, a force to be reckoned with, an indelible curiosity that neither asks for nor welcomes such detailed instructions. Intrinsically you know the items that must be assembled to break the vile human spell.

First you must pluck the flowers from the lily pads that sit in your favorite pond; a lady always deserves a flower, and the water from whence they came will serve as a reminder of the water from which she has been deprived for so long. How she will swim in your grand future together, side by side, soft harmonious honks heard by your loyal subjects as you float through a blissful eternity.

A roll of toilet paper - to dry her tears after such a dramatic and heroic rescue. The foolish person reading this now may be thinking "but geese aren't capable of crying," but actually you only think that because you are a foolish human whose insignificant eyes cannot perceive the tears wept by your waterfowl superiors. If you were to perceive a goose's tears, you would not live long to tell the tale.

Forty eight (48) golden bells - used to ring the chorus of her ascension. Now the average person might read such a obscenely high number and think "what sort of goose could destroy a model town _forty-eight_ times so that he could obtain that many bells? Isn't that excessive?" And to that type of inquiry, of course, you reply that how dare an average person speak to you, their inherent evolutionary superior. You shall steal as many bells as you like. Perhaps the fiftieth bell will be one you and the lady may steal together, holding it beak in beak as you parade through the town in your glorious victory lap. The forty ninth bell will be obtained on your own because although you will soon be joined together in union, it's important to retain your own hobbies and enjoy pastimes separate from one another. That is the key to a happy marriage and as everyone knows, geese put in the hard work to stay together forever. They aren't like lazy swans who only mate for life through some pathetic biological incentive. Goose marriages are hard work. You know this, of course. 

One(1) Shopping Basket - a carriage for the lady.

You make short work of the gathering; you're talented like that. The humans do not stand in your way, or if they try they're not able to do so for long. Your powerful flapping hurtles them away, leaves them openly weeping for a reprieve from your awful dominion. But they do not know how lucky these final moments are. Soon you will be enjoined with another creature, hungry for revenge on those who have bewitched her. How they will long for the days when this was a one goose sort of town.

Materials gathered, you must secure the prisoner. She seems so heavy in your grasp, so painfully tethered to this porcelain form. But also so fragile, liable to break if the spell is not broken quickly enough. Her bow is enchanting. You find yourself eager to see it set against downy soft feathers, rather than this strange shellacked pottery material. Her feet scrape on the ground as you make your way down the narrow paths. Not much longer now, my beloved.

(It can be a platonic beloved too, of course. Swans are not the only homosexual waterfowl, and you are a reasonable goose among gods. No pressure or anything, you two will just see where the mood takes you. Keep it casual. Best not to appear too desperate.)

You arrive at the place of ritual -- the old well which serves no purpose but to trap water for the humans' selfish uses. It only makes sense to toss all the ingredients into this deep and cavernous prison. You peer down into the inky depths, captivated by the ghostly way your honks echo throughout the stony walls. It seems cold and damp. Extraordinary. Perhaps you and your lady will start a home here someday. If you close your eyes you can see a pack of goslings emerging from the well and enjoying a happy swim alongside two proud parents. The havoc a family of five could inflict on this town. Your excitement is a catch in your fluffy white chest. You mustn't get ahead of yourself; the ritual will require an immense amount of concentration.

All the gathered items must enter the well. You'll admit, tossing 48 bells through the hole, each one ringing cacophonously as they collide against its stony walls before succumbing to the waters below; this is not an easy task to complete discreetly. To do such a thing without alerting any of the pathetic human neighbors requires immense skill and patience. But you are up to the task. 

The toilet paper goes easily, paper tail waving behind it as it falls. It reminds you of your own time as a grey youngling, small enough to be picked up in one human hand, pressed close to someone's cheek with love and affection. Not that you would ever admit to this. Disgusting. You drop the flower to the waters below where their colors vanish into the muted shadows.

As a final touch you pour the contents of your secret vial into the well (as well.) Oh, perhaps the reader doesn't know about the magic potion all geese carry with them for such a lofty occasion. Why would someone even read this story with such a paltry understanding of basic goose mechanics? Perhaps they should go back to school and learn something useful for once.

The night is quiet and still. Your nerves are as ruffled as the feathers on your back. Perhaps you miscalculated. Unlikely but possible. A cool wind ripples through the air and you must wait. You hope she likes to eat tomatoes and gets along with Mother Goose. 

Another wind, stronger still. The night seems darker than before, the water in the well thrashing like an upset pot. A low rumble begins below your webbed feet. You flap your wings in momentary distress. This sense of unease is not what you expected. You know now that the ritual was completed, and you're confident you followed the instructions to the letter - even so something in the air is dangerous, electric. The rumbling grows and the ground cracks beneath you. You flap back, narrowly avoiding plummeting into the ground below as a chasm opens beneath your sleepy town. Dread seeps through every fiber of your fowl body. You have heard of this, obviously. Humans inaccurately call it a hellhole, but you know better. This is a Hölle der Vögel, a bird hell, a place where humans are subjected to eternal terror and torture at the hands of their avian superiors. It is extraordinary, an explanation for all your dastardly deeds. But it must not be opened so wide; such energy can only eke out in small increments over time. The seal broken, the hell opened, would drop the town and its residents into infinite torment.

As your bride rises from the chasm, radiant and in all her terrible goosey glory, you know why this must be. The misery of her capture, the shackles of her bondage have manifested such deep agony that can be expressed only through twenty lifetimes of devastation. You understand why she feels this way, you know the way of the 'bird hell' as it is. And yet…

And yet with the town devoured you will return to the hell from whence you emerged. You will take your place alongside your compatriots, a cog in the torture machine. Your endless days of hilarity and fun at the expense of the measly humans will come to an end, and your life will be one of banal injuries, of formulaic destruction. There will be no more bells for you to cart through the town; there will be no more town. No day or night, no good or evil. Only terrible geese and you, a faceless beak amongst them. 

But you are not ready to disappear into an oblivion of identical evil, or to give up this town, not to anyone, not even this gargantuan beauty.

She spreads her gigantic wings wide, an impressive wingspan that blots out the moon in an awful display of strength. She is an angel of beauty and death, flapping wide and wild before your unworthy eyes.

You are a terrible goose, and she is a Two Winged Angel, the herald of true destruction upon your village, and now a battle must be fought.

.

..  
…  
….  
..... ……  
WEBSITE ENTERED: [https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/60342-untitled-goose-game/faqs/69697](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYLTChofQ1I&ab_channel=%ED%8F%AC%ED%8F%AC)

-= Final Battle Guide =-  
_______________________________________________________________________________

~Contents~  
================  
1\. Introduction  
================  
-A) History  
-B) Copyrights  
================  
2\. Battle Overview  
================  
-A) Attacks & Defenses  
-B) Defenses  
-C) Bonuses  
===============  
3\. Final Notes & Credits  
===============

================  
1\. Introduction  
================  
As this is considered the hardest battle in a hard game, I thought it would make sense to create a concentrated guide focusing only on this encounter. If you are looking for a COMPLETE walkthrough of the other tasks included in the game, THIS IS NOT THAT. This is for the true Goose Heads, those who play the final quest to test their mettle, get the rarest of the items or final a Perfect playthrough of arguably one of the most difficult games of the year. Be advised there are MANY SPOILERS for the final encounter, so please do not come crying to me if you didn't want to know about the big bad. 

-A) History  
\---------------------------  
10/22/2020 - Began work on the guide.  
10/28/2020 - Compiled rare items list.  
11/4/2020 - Completed offensive strategy.  
11/7/2020 - Accidentally deleted file; restarted work on guide.  
11/10/2020- Submitted to Gamefaqs. 

-B) Copyrights  
\--------------------------  
A note that my guide may not be posted in any other website other than Gamefaqs.com, etc. without my approval. As I'm fair and benevolent (like our fearless Goose leader!) I'll more than likely grant permission if you promise to provide credit for my work. If while reading this you notice I made a mistake (which isn't very likely but I'll concede somewhat possible), please email me at gooseexpert4eva@gmail.com and I will correct and give credit if deemed necessary. As I'm sure you can tell, a substantial amount of effort on my part went into this guide, and I would be VERY upset to see it used without consent, credit, or appropriate notice. Consider yourself having been given the complimentary warning honk....  
================  
2\. Battle Overview  
================  
SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*******  
*NOTE:*  
*******************************************************************************  
*There is a way to skip the battle with the Two Winged Angel that will require obsessive work prior to the battle cutscene. Upon entering the back garden during your first playthrough, immediately proceed to the goose statue and manage to carry her to the pond next door. There you need to float in blissful peace for exactly 4 minutes and 20 seconds without being noticed by either the man or the woman. If you fail in this, unfortunately this progress is linked to your steam/psn account, so you will not be able to reset this even with uninstalling and reinstalling the game. As challenging as the guide below appears, this may be an easier route to victory. Additionally, skipping this battle will prevent you from unlocking the rare items that are looted during the fight. ********************************************************************************  
*******  
-A) Attacks & Defense  
\---------------------------  
This boss has three regular attacks and two turbo attacks where you'll need to keep your guard up. Two of her regular attacks consist of two status conditions, but don't ignore these effects!! I'll use this section to describe the attacks in detail and effective defenses against them. For more offensive maneuvers, see the below B section.

-1) Regular Attacks  
++ Roast Goose - A fire attack; using guard will block this with 70% accuracy.

++ Goosebumps - The boss will tell a spooky story that will inflict fear on the goose; you can't guard from this attack (geese aren't able to cover their ears) but if you equip ear muffs it will lower its probability to hit (30%). 

++ Angel Wing - Angel Wing is a poison attack named after the deformity found in afflicted geese IRL. This will damage your wings and make it difficult for you to flap and dodge other regular attacks. While the poison only drains a small number from your health bar, be advised your inability to move will make it harder to guard/attack effectively. You can guard from this even more easily than Roast Goose, but she will cast this more frequently as her health bar depletes.

-2) Turbo Attacks  
++ Gaggle Haggle - Two Winged Angel will summon a cutscene in which a swarm of other geese fill the screen and attack you. On my goose lore Youtube channel, I discuss the connection between these geese and the deceased brethren discussed on the Midnight Channel broadcast from the TV in main street, but for now they're just a costly nuisance. Expect this attack to take almost half your health without your guard up - with guard it should only take down 20%.

++ HONK - Arguably one of the more brutal attacks in the game, this earth shattering honk will take a whopping 75% of your existing health bar, and if you have less than 25 HP it will drop you to zero. Make sure to have Goose Down equipped to revive you, but ALWAYS guard the moment she starts charging this attack. If you're not low on health you can chance healing before it lands, but try to avoid getting in any situation where you have less than 50 HP when she could cast this.

-B) Offense & Strategy  
\---------------------------  
The first thing you should note is that despite being a fire type enemy, this goose is immune to ice attacks, so save your MP. The Blizzarga spell you obtained after gaining access to the pub freezer won't do anything, so you might as well leave it unequipped to stock up on health spells. 

Your best course of action is to keep your defenses up when she starts charging for the turbo attacks, and spam bell attacks when the boss is reliant on regular attacks. The following sequence of attacks have worked on my last 87 playthroughs, so they come highly recommended:

+++ Flappy Bird™ - A wing based attack, this should knock the boss off balance giving them a Luck decrease for the next 5 turns (crucial if you want to avoid Turbo attacks)

+++ Let Freedom Ring - This summon drops a plus-sized bell onto the boss; a ring based attack will deal 85% chance of physical damage, and a 10% chance psychic damage onto the boss.

+++ Bell-igerence Honk - This is a bell and honk combo attack you will have learned from spending the night in the Model Village and battling the Goose Ghost (see my previous walkthrough.) This is the closest you as the player have to the boss's turbo attack HONK, but be advised if you both use a turbo attack simultaneously, hers will always supersede yours and result in a massive blow to your health. So choose your moments of attack wisely and remember to guard when in doubt.

NOTE: Another strategy is to enchant one of your swift wing weapons with poison and get in some hits until the poison sets in. This ended up taking me a significant chunk of time, but it's a pretty effective strategy if your goose build has mostly focused on defense and you can stay alive long enough to play the defensive until the poison does its work. It is also helpful if you haven't unlocked the bell combos and summons and don't want to/can't complete the game's quests properly.

-C) Bonuses  
\---------------------------  
Two Winged Angel drops a BUTTLOAD of EXP at the end of the battle, but if you have the Materia "steal" equipped in one of your wing slots, you should take advantage of the additional loot you can plunder during the battle.

\+ Golden Egg - Can be sold at High Street for 4000GP (Goose Points)

\+ Goose Down Pillow - Restores 100% of your health with a 30 second invisibility bonus

\+ Book titled "Take a Gander At This" - This book covers goose history years 1788-1822 and will be the final book needed to complete your goose lore library.

Some people consider getting this to be superfluous during the final battle, but the rest of us completionists know a challenge when we see one!  
================  
3\. Final Notes  
================  
Once you have depleted the health of the Two-Winged Angel down to 0, she will revert to regular goose size and fly away (sequel anyone??) You can check out my YouTube channel for an explanation of the lore that's revealed in the ending cutscene, but for all you casuals out there, sit back and enjoy the pretty pictures! Everybody loves a holiday roast goose.

**Author's Note:**

> omg this was really fun to write?? I hope it's okay, I know your prompt said play around and cause some destruction but perhaps the goose is also the savior as well as the destroyer? I have no explanation for the game FAQs lol. hope you had a wonderful yuletide and thanks for being a great recip!!!


End file.
